Alex and Hope were newlyweds. He loved her madly and always wanted to please his bride so when they planned a date night he would ask her where she wanted to eat.
Hope would lie and say, "I don't care."
So Alex would ask if she had any ideas or preferences.
Again, came another lie: "No."
Alex himself said he was never the only one to describe Hope as sweet and shy; quiet and gentle. So when it came time to choose an eatery, he might go for the burger joint. They would have their meal and he would be unaware she had lied to him about this seemingly insignificant truth.
Some time later-it might be WEEKS-Hope would accuse him of purposely choosing his preferences over hers in a fit of anger. She even assigned motive: "You chose that place because you know I can't stand the decor" or whatever it happened to be.
This was shocking to Alex because EVERYBODY knew that Hope was sweet and shy; quiet and gentle. Where had all this venom been hiding?
It took a long, long time for this couple to resolve this business of her being so touchy about things. She was often VERY easily offended and it took some time and study to understand it.
We all know we can be offended from time to time. What we may not know, and what Alex and Hope learned, thankfully, is that it is borne of a humility problem!
Let's define humility: First, what humility is NOT-it is NOT behaving like a Melvin Milk Toast, all meek and mild and passive. Humility is believing the truth about who you really are.
Not to believe the truth about who you really are is the root of the problem when people are easily offended.
You see, there are a couple of things in play in the matter of being easily offended. One is a COMPARISON. For example, you might see someone who looks as if he is better looking than you. Conversely, you might see a person who is not so good looking as you. Either which way, you are COMPARING.
The other thing is EXPECTATION. In Alex and Hope's case, she EXPECTED Alex to know that she did not like certain things. Never mind that she had never told him what she liked or disliked until she became angry!
Dean Gilbert, of Harvard University has said, "Expectations are an absolute happiness killer!" It's true.
Both COMPARISON and EXPECTATION come from a human need for security and safety. If our hearts contain cellular memory from a time when we were not safe or not secure we can be in jeopardy of believing a lie. That insecurity, that feeling of being unsafe can lead to one of two reactions: Fight or Flight.
In Hope's case, she retreated into Flight by living in a state of deep depression. I'm very pleased to report that she was able to overcome being easily offended and is living a healthy and happy, productive and joyous life now.
She got all her issues resolved by using Energy Medicine.
Energy Medicine is an affordable and easily acquired tool to help us live our lives with truth and love so we can be well and happy; joyous and productive.