The Sequel. And Braggin' Rights

This was The Normanator's first  "outing" following his 3 way heart bypass procedure!

The man you see  here, flanked by a couple of trained and highly skilled professionals holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Agriculture from the University of Nebraska.  He has taught school; he managed farms and worked as a surveyor.  He did appraisal work, he served admirably in the United States Army.  He painted houses  to keep body and soul together and raised three of the finest young men you'll ever meet.

Together, he and I built something of an "empire" when we represented a company who dealt in health products.  We always declared we really got an education while we worked with them.  We learned a great many things about water, air, food, sleep and people! We even learned about our selves!

I mention all this because The Normanator's excursion through the Nebraska Heart Institute was a real top notch education and it came even though we did not expect to learn SO MUCH in such a short time.

There is always much to be learned, no doubt.  But I was in for a real awakening  when I was "just an innocent bystander" to the proceedings.

The very first thing I learned was that an epidural would not only be appropriate for laboring mommies; it would be a wonderful adjunct to The Normanator's recovery.  It kept him as comfortable as possible in order for him to cough, following the surgical procedure!  That's an important component to recovery.  No one wants to suffer with pneumonia while recuperating;  it's critical to cough!

I was busily tending to Norm's needs-reaching tissues, cleaning his glasses and just acting the role of the wife when the Registered Nurse and Pod Leader, Nicolette, sashayed into the room with her usual cheerful demeanor.  She made some small talk and then turned to me: "I'm sending you to Cardiac Camp!" she announced with authority.

Hm...the little girl in me immediately (and incorrectly) presumed I was being disciplined. But I dutiful appeared for Cardiac Camp at the appointed time and place, pen in hand for taking notes.
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Besides yours truly, there was a motley assortment of patients in varying stages of recovery lining the room's perimeter.   Family members of folks who were having surgery at that time sat in on the Camp and there was one woman who had  heart surgery long ago but was there on that occasion to help a relative. 

Registered Nurse and Pod Leader, Kevin Mendenhall, was the instructor that day.  He introduced himself, gave us the long list of his impressive credentials and put us all at ease with his sense of humor and easy manner.  He gave us the lowdown about what to expect from the patient and from ourselves through the process of hospitalization and recovery.

We were given a binder, a cook book and sheets of information about diet, exercise, symptoms -- where to call and when to call---it was all very reassuring and there would be no reason to feel abandoned after we got home and all those professionals were not at the end of a call button.  I was grateful to be a part of this and it was good to share what I had assimilated with The Normanator.

One at a time, a legion of Respiratory Therapists appeared every 4 hours during every 24, day and night to administer breathing treatments.  They were all educators of the first order, sharing tidbits of what worked well with using the nebulizer for medicines to keep the lungs open.  They talked about why they became the professionals they were.  They shared stories about their families which helped us to really understand lung function and treating the body well to encourage squeezing quality right out of the air we breathe!  They encouraged both of us.  They even gave Norm a PICKLE:

This is an adorable gadget.  When he blows into it, the silly thing vibrates and makes a fluttering sound, much like a child talking to a running room fan!  Those vibrations match the vibrational rate of his lungs and help to loosen mucus.  This is very helpful!

The team assured us that Cardiac Rehab was in the works and it would begin in 6 weeks post surgery.  They got that a little wrong...he was two weeks ahead of schedule when he reported to the local hospital's Cardiac Rehab specialist, Dee Othmer, RN.  She is like one of our family already!

So know you have the overview of how the whole process took place.  We have taken out braggin' rights on the entire Nebraska Heart  Institute and all the professionals there.  They deserve no less.


Connie Baum

PS/When I tell you that EVERYONE was helpful I want to share this example:  Hospital rooms are notoriously chilly by nature.  One chilly morning a gentle man came to mop the floor.  He started on the wall farthest from the door and cleaned his way to the opening to the room.  When he finished, he leaned on the handle of the mop and asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"  I teasingly suggested he could warm the room.  He smiled, nodded and disappeared.  Seconds later he returned, carrying a warmed blanket for me!  *I ask you, "Is it any wonder we have claimed braggin' rights?"

The Normanator is Mending

This man just had open heart surgery to repair 3 blocked arteries...he is one champion guy I love!

A funny thing happened...we were 150 miles away from home and The Normanator was helping someone load a mattress.  It did not fit, no matter how loudly the men groaned or how hard they pushed.  It was a chilly, dampish night and we were tired.  He returned from this project into the house and sank down on the sofa.  He looked like what my grandmother would call "peaked".  His face looked gray and drawn.  We chalked it up to his crummy lung function and trundled off to bed.

The next day, at home, The Normanator answered the phone.  I heard  him laughingly tell the caller that there must be some mistake.  He was 150 miles away...suddenly it dawned on us that the Boston Scientific monitor that sits by his side of the bed had alerted the Nebraska Heart Hospital that his heart experienced an "episode" and this was real.  Thank goodness for monitors that track their owners like cell phones and GPS units!

A stress test was scheduled.  Of course The Normanator was fearful that he'd be required to peddle a bike or trek on a treadmill.  While we fretted, the Cardio dude arrived.  No, he probably would not do well in a traditional stress test; he likely would not need a chemical test, either.

Nothing would DO but a heart catheterization.  So one was scheduled and all the while Norm kept INSISTING "I am fine.  I feel fine, really I do."  

When they returned Norm to his room after the procedure we were told that there were blockages.  Lots of them in 3 arteries, and maybe they should check the carotid arteries in his neck, which they promptly did.  The Doppler indicated blockages there, as well.

Well.  So that's what we were looking at.  Maybe his lungs were not his only enemy.  We were given an appointment to return and speak with the surgeon.  As we left I wondered to myself, " Three blockages?  And we are leaving here to fend for ourselves?  OMY.

 What blew us both away was how young the cardio people are.  The first one looked to be about 12 and the surgeon looked as if he may actually have reached his teen years.  Although they look like youngsters, these specialists have the skills, wisdom, education and demeanor of very old souls indeed.

We met with the surgeon who gently explained that The Normanator's lungs were fragile and compromised.  This was not news; he has been working with a pulmonary specialist for some time.  The surgeon went on to explain that the lungs should resemble Nerf balls--they should be soft and spongy.  Norm's lungs?  They are like bubble wrap.

He went on to explain that whenever people visit a barber shop they expect to get their hair cut.  We had the right to expect that The Normanator could face surgery and he was very sorry to say that it was just not going to happen.  I was as  sorry for the surgeon as I was for Norm over this decision.  It left us wondering what could be next...stroke?  heart attack?  Neither was palatable.

After a few days we were summoned back to the Heart Institute to discuss our options.  It seemed to me, as the observer and not the patient, that these young men were positively giddy with delight to see Norm and discuss what they had in mind for him.  They had taken the case to their "Cath Board" and had come up with a 'plan of attack' to get him feeling as well as he could as quickly as he could!  They explained that they had a solid strategy so he could get those arteries repaired and go on to live a life that had quality!

It was May 14,  2015 when the surgical team took care of all The Normanator's heart issues.  The anesthesiologist came to explain they would place an epidural in his upper back; he had IV tubes, a port for medicines to enter, telemetry, and a bank of monitors.  This whole collection of stuff and people accompanied him to the surgical suite after his son and I, along with our minister, bid him goodbye.

The surgeon had told me this procedure would be fairly long and I should expect him to have a tracheotomy; he may be on a ventilator and on and on.  I steeled myself, determined to deal with whatever came our way.  Norm and I are a team and we have vowed many times we should 'go with  the flow'.  This was no different.

Several hours later The Normanator returned to his hospital room, which was now his Recovery Room.  I was shuttled away to a waiting room, allowed only brief visits.  He looked peaceful to me.  The pain medicine was doing its job and the epidural made it possible for him to cough, preventing pneumonia.  His heart pillow, which served as  a sort of cast for his broken sternum, was well used.

Another blog post will be required to regale you with all our fabulous learning experiences.

Today's calendar reads June 25, 2015.  Cardiac Rehab is now a three-times-a-week appointment.  From the wife's perspective, he is stronger and not as tired as before the surgery.  If you ask HIM, he may give you different information.  He is driving again and has even gone to his beloved 40 acre tract of land.  As he left to go there he told me, "I'm going out to cut a thistle."

Yes, Norm.  ONE thistle.  Uh huh.   

Oh, how I love this man.

Connie Baum
 


 

Husbands Underfoot?

Does the Normanator appear to you to be underfoot?

*I should think NOT!

  When Del left a lifetime of work on a line in a manufacturing plant, Carol was livid.  "What," she railed, "Am I supposed to DO with him NOW?"   I laughed and made the effort to cheer her up.  I offered her another cup of coffee.

  Her coffee got cold as she went on, whinging and whining about how Del was going to "ruin my life" and how "I'll never have another moment's peace."

  Soon the "happy" couple were leaving one household for another.  They could spend Del's newly minted retirement in an expansive brick home on a corner lot where Del could groom the sprawling lawn.  Carol had her doubts...

  She phoned one day to report that Del was driving her crazy.  "He is unpacking all the moving boxes and has rearranged the living room!" she complained.  I reminded her that lots of people HIRE folks to do that for them and maybe she could look at being grateful.  She didn't hear me; she had begun to cry.  She wailed into the phone:  "The worst of this house is that it is a ONE BUTT kitchen!  How will we manage when he takes over the kitchen and all the cooking?"  While she blew her nose I timidly suggested that she could go into the living room and enjoy the new layout.

  What followed next made me wish I hadn't answered the phone that morning.  "You don't understand, Connie!" she hollered.  "Just wait til you and Norm retire.  You'll see..."  Fortunately, her door bell rang and that conversation ended.

  Carol was still fussing and fuming about how Del was underfoot when we moved 150 miles from them.  Her emails were filled with complaints about how he cooked this and he washed that and the yard was too big and the kitchen was too small.

  What ever happened to living happily ever after? 

  I've heard other women complain that their household routine was upset when the man of the house retired, too.  I never did understand that because when my dad retired my mom and dad hung out together and they had time to play cards, grocery shop, go fishing on a whim, or just pack a picnic and go for a drive to enjoy one another's company.  They even got bicycles and peddled all over their little home town.  It seemed to me they were sharing their lives and enjoying one another immensely.  

 Well, that is-they enjoyed one another until The Big Blow Up when Mom moved out.  But that had nothing to do, so I was told, with Dad's retirement.

  I've heard tales of husbands who took to drinking too much because they did not have to answer to an employer any more.   Wives have confessed to me that they felt they no longer had privacy because the newly retired husband grabbed the mail.  Stories of husbands 'hiding' in the garage so as not to have to help with household chores or listen to long phone calls  have circulated.  All these had the recurring theme of husbands being underfoot.

  What a strange concept this is to me.  The Normanator and I thoroughly enjoy hanging out in our retirement.  We have spent our time feeling grateful for having good health and the opportunity to design relaxed but interesting days together.  We both like to read so we spend quiet time in that pursuit.  We are die hard Nebraska Cornhusker sports fans so we noisily watch our favorite teams with snack foods for meals!  I cook; he dries the dishes.  We joke.  We tease.  We entertain.  We join our peers at table when the Breakfast Bunch meets on Tuesday mornings. We deliver Meals on Wheels and attend church regularly.  We drink pots and pots of coffee.  He bakes.  I clean.  When he goes to the "40" to work on wood I take care of the house and laundry.  We don't think our kitchen is too small!  We are full of life and the joy of living it.  We are eternally grateful that we have this life.

  Husbands underfoot?  Not in this house.  Not ever.

Connie Baum

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A British Invasion

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 Ava, age 8, made special signs to welcome our friend, Kay, from the UK.  The Normanator got into the act,  as well! The signs read "You bet your BUM we're happy to see you"...Yes, Ma'am!" and "Welcome Home, Kay!"

We are "making nice" for our English friend to arrive on this side of the pond!  She'll stay in our guest room for about  three weeks!

We never meant to strike up a friendship with someone so far away...

We crawled out of bed at 1:30 AM to deliver the 150 papers on our route.  We had finished our route by 6 AM, thankfully, and could slip between the warm covers to catch a nap before beginning Act II of a chilly March day.

I had just settled in when the phone rang.  I raced to answer it and what I heard from the other end of the line was loud wailing in a strong British accent:  "I CAHN'T GET MAH-RRIED!  "I CAHN'T GET MAH-RRIED! " 

The awareness of what was happening washed over me.  Anita, a good friend of ours, was visiting at the prison and met a charming, gregarious young woman from England.  They exchanged stories and contact information.  Anita suggested that I "friend" Kay on Facebook, which I did.  I suggested that the 3 of us should have coffee when she came stateside and gave her our phone number.  I did not know  the details when all that wailing and crying came over the phone about why her wedding to Gary Frazier could not happen but I knew we HAD to help somehow.

On that fateful spring day this British traveler had landed at the airport in Lincoln, Nebraska.  The cab ride some 40+ miles to Beatrice, Nebraska, where arrangements had been made for her motel, had tapped  out her resources!  Because of the cost of the cab fare from Lincoln to Beatrice, she had no money, no way to pay for her stay and she was 35 miles away from the man she was to marry at the Tecumseh State Correctional Facility.  She was desperate and terribly afraid.

I said to her, "Kay, don't worry about a thing.  Norm and I will be there in half an hour!"

We pulled on clothes as quickly as we could.  We had to hurry because we had to make the 35 mile trip, collect our damsel in distress and return home in time to drive the neighbor girls to school!

When we pulled into the motel we could see Kay in the doorway.  She was so cute in her pink suit.  She looked almost as if she were pouting.  I opened the front door and invited her to put her luggage into the trunk of our car.  She looked at us as if she may cry and said, "NO ONE in England would DO this."  She probably worried that she had been connected to a couple who specialized in serial murders.  She may have thought we offered to help her so we could rob her or some other heinous thing.  In any case, she was at our mercy and fastened her seat belt for what she must surely have been concerned could be a roller coaster ride!

She chattered in her delightful English accent all the way to Tecumseh.  Norm could not understand one word but I listen faster than Norm and I was getting the  gist of the story.  We told her that the marriage between Kay Pilkington and Gary Frazier WOULD take place, because we would do whatever it took to get her to the "church" (aka prison) on time!

We showed her to our guest room, fixed her some breakfast and brewed fresh coffee.   Coffee for Kay is like oxygen to the rest of us.  She refers to coffee as "a brew" and we have learned to lay in a good supply of coffee  and cream for her visits!

Kay personified a beautiful bride.  She was positively fetching in the lovely simple dress she chose.  

On March 17, 2012 Kay Pilkington and Gary Frazier were pronounced man and wife by a clergy arranged .We were not allowed to attend these nuptials because we do not have visiting privileges for Gary and we are not on his telephone list.

As I recall, she stayed for a week.  We made sure Mrs. Frazier had meals and transportation and anything else she may have needed.  She did come to the conclusion that we intended her no harm and in fact we might even be considered to be decent human beings!

That same fall,  Kay returned, knowing that she could stay with us again sans the added expense of lodging. She knew she could enjoy all the comforts of our home and that I'd prepare a hot water bottle for her ailing back.  She could depend on having nutritious food served on her visiting schedule.  We had introduced her to those who sit in our circle and this darling new friend was embraced by everyone wherever she went in our little town.

You are no doubt keenly aware that globe trotting is not a low cost endeavor.  In order to finance Kay's travels she sold their love story to some English papers, who paid a handsome sum for the details of their romance and marriage.  Not only that, she managed to win a small lottery!  Kay gave up smoking, sacrificed her automobile and cuts back on every thing possible in order to save for travel to the States!

To ease her travels somewhat she has left some of her "bits" in the guest closet.  There is a shelf in the bathroom and she has "commandeered" a drawer or two in a dresser.  We refer to our guest room now as "Kay's room" and she is convinced that anyone else who sleeps there in her absence should pay HER a stipend!  Over the years we have had a great many laughs, some mighty good food and we have made some delightful memories with our dear friend...she really feels like family to us.

There is an ample supply of coffee and cream on hand; Kay's room has fresh linen as well as clean windows and curtains...and we have made plans for activities we hope will please her no end.

We are ready for a British Invasion!

Connie Baum

 

This a file photo of our Book Lovers Club

Normally, since today is the first Wednesday of the month, our Book Lovers would gather round our dining room table and nibble on popcorn and Lois' home made cookies.  Not today.  Today we have giant flakes of snow filling the sky and piling themselves on our deck railing like elongated slices of angel food cake!  We are hunkered down, no doubt finding time to keep our noses in our books!

The cast of characters in our Club has changed, as our precious, aging members are moving on to the next world.  This is sad for us but we understand that death is part of life.  It's not the part we like but we must accept it and cling to the delightful, happy and wonderful memories we have made.

In the above photo, the lady in front, wearing polka dots and a sweet smile has left us.  She was ill for only a short while when she was taken from us.  What we will always remember about Marge is her famous popcorn, her unbelievably beautiful handwriting and her original poems.  Marge taught me how to knit and she was a dear neighbor.  She was 94 when she died.  We all miss Marge more than we can express.

The woman in brown slacks and jacket on the left of the picture is Gena.  Bless her heart, she has endured any number of health issues and seemed to be at death's door but with her daughter's faithful care and Gena's own will, she has weathered a good many storms in recent times.  It was my good fortune to encounter her as we delivered Meals on Wheels to a friend of hers.  I was so pleased to see her doing so well and looking so fine! Gena loves to read the works of Christian authors.  She is also passionate about tending to her flowers!

Gena is standing beside a lady in red.  This our local librarian, Susie Kerner. Susie was a special guest on the day this photo was snapped.  Since then Susie and I have become members of a Writers Group.   She has a wonderful sense of humor, loves books as much as our members do and she is a wonderful contribution to our little town!  We always enjoy Susie's book reviews in our local paper.  She tells us that Tecumseh library patrons prefer mysteries and fiction. Recently she shared a true story about the Holocaust.

Beside Susie, wearing a striped blouse, is Bert.  She left us too quickly after learning she had a serious health issue.  Bert doctored for this but during her treatment she took a bad tumble and in the blink of an eye she was taken from us.  We miss Bert hosting our meetings, showing us her art work and knitting projects.  I never pass Bert's former home but what I miss seeing her in the yard or walking to the grocery store, even at the tender age of 90. Little Bert was generous, caring and read voraciously.  She leaned toward fiction and biographies.

Judy, dressed in blue, and Lois, wearing glasses, are on the back row.  Lois is a member of the original group who chartered the Book Lovers Club.  She taught school before her retirement, lives on a farm and makes a fine President.  The teacher in her is apparent as she prepares for each meeting by sharing jokes, puzzles an bits of trivia with us.  Lois enjoys reading on a variety of topics; most recently she reads the newspaper aloud to her husband, who is plagued with eye ailments.  She manages to find a lot of how-to and home care volumes. We can always count on Lois to bring home made cookies to every meeting!

Judy lives in the country and serves us as Treasurer. She wears many hats: Advisory Board member for South East Nebraska Community Action (SENCA), officer for the VFW Auxiliary and President of the SE Nebraska Tourism group.  She is a community minded woman who appreciates books and takes a special interest in Native American culture and history.  It was Judy who invited me to join the Club, for which I am eternally grateful. Judy has a special interest in WWII as well as Barney Oldfield's career.

That woman with her hair piled up on top of her head is yours truly.  My reading choices are mostly biographies, and non-fiction. I own way too many books and I want more!  *my bad...

We have other members who are not pictured.  Little Elna is a faithful member; I cannot recall why she is not present for this photo.  She loves to read titles by Christian authors, historical books with a sprinkling of fiction.  LaRue is another original member of  the Book Lovers Club; she lives in an assisted living facility.  The last time I saw LaRue she was impeccably groomed, stylishly dressed and cheery as ever.  LaRue is a tiny mite; she is no bigger than a minute!  She says she enjoys receiving the minutes of our meetings in the mail.

Our newest member has not attended many meetings because we meet while she is in class at Peru State College!  She devours fiction and loves to read as much as any of the Book Lovers.  She is studying English and will graduate in August as a non traditional student.  She reports she is reading some heavy duty English literature!

You can tell we are a motley crew.  But we are bound by our interest in books, our devotion to one another and the fun we have at our meetings.  Not only are we Book Lovers; we are people lovers, as well.

Some clubs have one book that all their members read and then have a discussion at their meetings.  Our members read whatever strikes their fancy and report on their impression of their choice.  The rest of the meeting is taken up with a bit of business, snacks and coffee, and local news! There are hugs all around when it's time to go home.

When I think about the Members and those members who have made their transition, I am filled with gratitude that I was allowed to sit in this circle.

Connie Baum
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